Jesse’s TNA IMPACT Review: September 2nd, 2015!

TNA IMPACT WRESTLING
SEPTEMBER 2 2015 (TAPED JULY 28.)
ORLANDO, FLA.
AIRED ON DESTINATION AMERICA
REPORT BY JESSE DAVIS, PARTS UNKNOWN PRESS

Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

I am back once again with a somewhat retro Impact review, if you consider 2015 retro that is. Let’s get to it!

We start off with a vignette replaying what happened last week with Drew Galloway, getting kicked in the balls by Jeff Jarrett over some GFW shenanigans!

We get a promo with Jeff Jarrett with the GFW boys consisting of Chris Adonis, Brian Myers, Trevor Lee, Sonjay Dutt, Leid’i Tapa with a bald dude as her manager, and PJ Black! What a roster we have here, oh, and Karen Jarrett and Scott D’Amore are here too. Jarrett goes on by saying that the GFW and TNA supershow was off the charts, and he gave Dixie a taste of how good things can be, yeah okay, Karen says that she got Chris “The Adonis” to take out Bully and Galloway. Jarrett then declares a corporate hostile takeover, yet another failed Invasion angle that I tried so hard to block from my memory.

Chris “The Adonis then issues a challenge to the TNA roster, joy. Lashley comes out with his Future Legend apparel (bring it back) and it seems he’s facing Mordetsky, battle of the Masterlock and The Hurt Lock here in 2015.

Chris Mordetsky Vs Bobby Lashley

This was a solid match for the most part, a few cool encounters happened Mordetsky threw Lashley into the steps earlier on. Lashley went for the spear and then boom, the interference from the GFW boys for the finish, Lashley tries to fight them off as much as he can, The Wolves come out for the save, just to get their asses kicked by the GFW boys as well, lovely.

WINNER: Lashley by DQ (8:12)

Jarrett and the GFW boys are holding the ring hostage once again, Karen comes out here with the Feast or Fired Tag Team Title briefcase that Magnus gave them, and they are cashing it in now. Hebner refuses to cash it in! He gets in a war of fisticuffs with Jarrett, Jarrett sadly prevails. D’Amore, Tapa and friend then force Stiffler to come out here and make this match official.

TNA Tag Team Title Match: Brian Myers & Trevor Lee Vs The Wolves (c)(Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards)

The Wolves were already hurt after the attack, basically forced to compete, they tried to fight back, but in the end, after one briefcase shot to the head by Trevor on Eddie, Trevor Lee and Brian Myers become the new TNA Tag Champions. Jarrett and the GFW Boys continue to celebrate afterward. That was fine.

WINNERS: Brian Myers and Trevor Lee, NEW TNA TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS (2:32)

Bobby Roode cuts a promo, says that everything going on is uncontrolled chaos, he hates TNA management and Jeff Jarrett, so he’s here to do what he always does, win championships, and he says he will take PJ Black’s KOTM Title!

Borash interviews EC3 and Tyrus, EC3 talks about novels and Matt and Jeff choosing their own adventure, and says Matt’s adventure will end tonight, and says Jeff will be a perfect assistant, and he likes his coffee black.

TNA KOTM Title Match: Bobby Roode Vs PJ Black (c)

PJ Black comes out, and then Roode comes out for a pre-match promo, says he’s a TNA original, he’s a TNA guy and he’s ready to kick some ass. This was a solid encounter, GFW Boy Sonjay Dutt tried to cost Roode the match, and then TNA Boy Drew Galloway stops Sonjay from interfering again and hits a mini Claymore on Sonjay, Roode was distracted, PJ got some offense in, and then got caught with a Roode Bomb and Roode wins the KOTM Title! So much for GFW taking over.

WINNER, NEW TNA KOTM CHAMPION, BOBBY ROODE (13:06)

Jarrett and the GFW Boys run to the ring to chase Roode, but Roode gets away! Jarrett is pissed and he calls out Dixie, joy.

“No more Dixie Carter, no more stupid and idiotic mistakes”- Jeff Jarrett, 2015 and probably more years than that.

Jarrett says he and Dixie were once a good team until she replaced him with failed regimes! Fucking hell! After more rambling on, Dixie challenges Jarrett and the GFW Boys to a Winner Take All, Galloway comes out, says he stands up for Dixie, TNA and the fans, then brings out Lashley and The Wolves.

Kenny King, who is still employed here in September 2015, even though this was taped in July so he might’ve been gone still, he just cuts this promo about having an identity crisis and he’s on his own now, and he’s doing his own Poen Fight Night!

Kenny King Vs Bram

There’s not much to be said about this match, Bram won, Kenny King lost, that’s all.

WINNER; Bram (3:34)

Velvet Sky cut a promo on Taryn Terrell and The Dollhouse. Taryn was on the tron, then Velvet gets attacked but then Madison and Angelina are back! This clip can be seen on Impact’s Twitch channel every Thursday and beyond! I don’t care about this segment, that’s all!

TNA World Heavyweight Title Match: EC3 (c) Vs Matt Hardy

Well, that was a good title match. EC3 retains the title via a low blow cheapshot, and Jeff must be EC3’s assistant! That was a good angle, in the end. Jeff in the EC3 suit was brilliant then.

WINNER: EC3, STILL TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION (13:13)

Final thoughts

God, the GFW invasion shit was complete overkill and I’m glad I skipped it when it happened, because it looked bad on the spoilers back then. Most of the show was long and hard to sit through because it was just Jarrett rambling the fuck on about hostile takeovers, GFW attacking people, just to lose their title, the Knockouts stuff I didn’t care for at all, but EC3 Vs Matt Hardy was good as well, so overall, the show gets a C- from me